|
November 20, 2007
When Babies Come In Handy
We may have said that we’d never do it, but we all do. Sometimes we do it to our husbands, sometimes to friends and family and sometimes, like I did today, we do it to total strangers in the grocery store. And it feels good: It’s effective, albeit slightly obnoxious, and it usually gets your message across. Well I’m coming clean. I admit it- I use my baby as a conversation proxy.
“Aurora, wouldn’t it be great if Daddy cooked breakfast this morning so Mommy could focus on the other twenty thousand things that she does for the family every day?” “You let people know that our little sweet pea doesn’t like when people constantly baby talk to her, does she?” Or the ever popular, “Wow. Some people just never learned to say excuse me. But we’re gonna learn to be nice to people, aren’t we?”
I know it’s not the most mature approach to the problem, but for some reason it’s easier to use the baby as a conduit for communication than to just come right out and tell your husband or your friend or the absolute witch who just cut you off in the produce section (who has ugly hair and visible panty lines-I win!) what’s on your mind. And wouldn’t we sometimes rather talk to someone who won’t talk back anyway?
But the truth is we have to have those conversations. Communication is absolutely vital, we know this, and the longer you’re married and the more children you have the more you need to talk things out. Last week I was at my wit’s end when my daughter began playing her favorite new game. Halfway through the meal, Aurora decided she no longer cared for the homemade food being offered to her. For crying out loud! It’s baked chicken with cashew butter, organic peas and a side of roasted sweet potato! What’s not to love??? In swept my husband Wade, armed with goofy faces and a fresh attitude, and within minutes Pooh and Tigger were visible again as the baby practically licked her bowl clean.
I used this opportunity to present an idea: How about Daddy feeding the baby on the weekends so Mom can catch a break? I shudder to think how many hours a week moms spend feeding babies, and I have to believe that they’d love to get some of those hours back. I know I want mine! So I finally just came right out and said what was on my mind after stewing over it. It felt good- much better than the rising resentment did. And truthfully, I think Wade just didn’t realize that it bothered me sometimes. Does he feed her more often now? Well, we’re working on it. I may have to learn how to write computer code so I can free up some of his time…. I do think that the actual conversation was a step in the right direction, though. And I plan on being more communicative when problems arise, because the only thing worth holding in is your stomach. (And stand up straight!) That way we can avoid that awful talk that starts off with, “No you don’t have to call Daddy’s yucky girlfriend mommy.”
But let’s get back to the grocery store. Seeing that it is Thanksgiving time, my daughter and I have been having quite a few chats this week about food, although mostly in hushed tones as we glanced in other people’s shopping carts: “Aurora, I know that on turkey day we all pig out, but some people apparently didn’t get the memo that pilgrims ate vegetables, too.” “I think gravy from scratch tastes much better than the canned stuff, don’t you little one?” “Emeril sure is silly for listing the spices that make up his Original Essence on the back of the jar. Why would I pay five bucks for something so basic?”
Now before you tell your baby “how rude it is to be so high and mighty about what people eat,” I fully admit that I am a little bit of a food snob. I’m not a gourmet, but I do love to cook meals- from scratch- with real ingredients. But every now and then we must put aside our beliefs and compromise for a loved one. So I told the other shoppers, I mean Aurora, “I know that cheese shouldn’t have more than fifteen ingredients, but Daddy likes his cheesy-rice casserole; and since we love him we have to buy this totally frightening cheese-product-in-a-can.” Just in case anyone was eyeballing my cart.
This entry can also be found on Mom•Logic:
http://www.momlogic.com/2007/11/when_babies_come_in_handy.php
|
