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March 31, 2009

Shut UP at the Gym!

When I hit the gym, I hit it hard. That's the point in my mind. But not in Betty Bringdown's: apparently she goes to the gym not to run laps but to yap yap yap. And she's ruining my ninety minutes of me-time.

I know you've met Betty- she's the one on the phone on the treadmill next to you who tells everyone within earshot about her crappy day, complains about her husband/boyfriend and whines about work. I was recently having a crappy day myself, and went to the gym to shake it off. I set my Nano to Justin Timberlake, cleared my mind of all the mama drama and proceeded to do my hills and sprints. Betty, meanwhile, wouldn't shut the hell up. I tried to drown her out with Jane's Addiction instead and that barely worked. Thanks Betty. Thanks for being the ridiculously garrulous hurricane that rained all over my mental vacation.

What I really wanted to do was snap Betty with my towel and inform her that:
A: It's not really a workout if the only thing sweating and cramping is your tongue.
B: Holding a cell phone to your ear does not count as lifting weights. It's a lame isometric exercise at best.
C: If she ran her legs half as much as she ran her mouth maybe her husband/boyfriend would pay her more attention. (Harsh, but you know it's true.)

I like to wind down my workouts with a sauna session. At 160℉ I seem to be able to solve any remaining problems and sweat the stress of motherhood away. But as I lay there mentally organizing my office, Betty strolled in still on the phone!!! Is that even safe??? I beg you Betty Bringdown, please stop yapping at the gym. Because you're making me and my blog sound just like you, and that's a real drag.

This entry can also be found on Mom•Logic:
http://www.momlogic.com/2009/04/shut_up_at_the_gym_karyn_bryant.php